May 8, 2018 - Day 30 - Genesis 30

I am writing from my desk in Seattle, WA.

Genesis 30:

So Rachel ain't happy yo; as you could imagine.  She ain't having any kids (and that is how you measure a woman's value), but sis is.

She gets all mad and tells Jacob to give her children or she will die.  Jacob gets a bit defensive.  Rachel presents a servant for Jacob that he can impregnate on her behalf.  (not really the same thing ya know, but I guess this can fly)

This servant (Bilhah) gets pregnant (and gets to be a wife in the process -- does 'wife' even mean anything??) and gives birth to a son.  Rachel is legit happy about this.  Imagine this happening in modern times lol.

So this new dude is named Dan.

This servant is fertile yo, and blasts out another one; this dude is Zapthali.  Rachel is going on about how she had a struggle with her sister, and actually Zaphtahil means 'my struggle.'

This reminds me of Pulp Fiction.  Bruce Willis' character says, "I'm an American, honey.  Our names don't mean shit."  Ain't that the truth!

Digressing.

I often listen to worship music when I write these entries.  At this moment its "How Beautiful" by Mosaic MSC.  (an absolutely incredible song -- look it up on Spotify if you haven't heard it)

So Bilhah stops having children, so she gives Jacob another servant to hook up with (what?).  Her name is Zilpah.  She becomes (another) wife, mentions that she has good fortune, and has a son with Jacob named Gad.  (which means good fortune)

Well she has another son (literally no one has daughters!!  are y'all seeing this??), rambles about being happy, and names him Asher -- which means happy.

Rueben brings some plants to his mom Leah, and Rachel asks for some of those plants, and Leah decides to passive-aggressively say, "wasn't it enough that you took away my husband"?

WHOA.  CALM DOWN.  YOU AIN'T A VICTIM HERE.

for real.

Oddly, in response to this claim, Rachel says that Jacob can hook up with Leah tonight in exchange for some of those plants.

Y'ALL.  If one of your friends did this crazy shit, you'd say, "YO, NO."  Yet so many people see this crap in the Bible and just excuse it -- why?

Leah ambushes Jacob with a sex proposition and he obliges.  She gives birth to another son, even though we were previously told that she pumped the brakes on the birthing.  She says she has been rewarded, so names her son Issachar -- which means reward.

The previous telling of her being done with having children is a boldfaced line, as she has yet another son, parading about how she has a precious gift and that finally Jacob will treat her with honor.  She names this one Zebulun -- which means honor.

We are told she gives birth to a daughter named Dinah.  HOLY CRAP A FEMALE IS BORN.

At this point, we are told that God remembers Rachel and gave her the ability to conceive.  I guess God forgot?!  Sucks for Rachel, for all those years.  Rachel says that God has taken away her disgrace, and she gives birth to Jospeh -- which means 'may he add.'

Jacob tries to bounce, but Laban wants him to stay and says he will pay whatever.  Laban obliges, but Jacob actually wants to go through the flocks and and remove the speckled or spotted sheep -- as these will be his wages.

With no disrespect to the Bible, this is really weird.  I'd be very interesting to here a compelling argument that isn't rooted in one-side dog crap apologetics.

To verify this, just check the spots to be sure!

Not so sure about the end of this chapter.  Thoughts?








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