October 1, 2018 - Day 176 - Deuteronomy 23
I am writing from my desk in Seattle, WA.
Deuteronomy 23:
We've made it, friends. The wet dream chapter.
This has a rough start for the castrated. No one who has been emasculated by crushing or cutting may enter the assembly of the Lord. Well that doesn't seem fair lol.
Also, no foreign relatives if you want to enter assembly of the Lord. Gotta keep that incest going!!
But if you're third generation or more Egyptian then its okay.
OH HERE'S THE FUN PART.
If you have a wet dream then you have to stay outside of the camp until evening; and you better wash yourself before you come back.
And when you poop outside, you have to dig a hole and cover that shit up!
We close with a few random laws.
If a slave comes to you, don't return them to their master, let them live wherever they want and don't oppress them.
Don't pay any vows to God with prostitution money.
Don't charge a fellow Israelite interest, but you can charge a foreigner interest. Because this was so long ago, we are all now related to the Israelites, therefore we are all Israelites, therefore my student loans should not have interest.
Make sure you keep your vows with God, whatever that means.
Last but not least, if you go into your neighbor's vineyard, you can eat all the grapes you want but you can't put them in your basket.
Bizarre chapter. What did we learn?
Dig a hole before you poop outside.
Deuteronomy 23:
We've made it, friends. The wet dream chapter.
This has a rough start for the castrated. No one who has been emasculated by crushing or cutting may enter the assembly of the Lord. Well that doesn't seem fair lol.
Also, no foreign relatives if you want to enter assembly of the Lord. Gotta keep that incest going!!
But if you're third generation or more Egyptian then its okay.
OH HERE'S THE FUN PART.
If you have a wet dream then you have to stay outside of the camp until evening; and you better wash yourself before you come back.
And when you poop outside, you have to dig a hole and cover that shit up!
We close with a few random laws.
If a slave comes to you, don't return them to their master, let them live wherever they want and don't oppress them.
Don't pay any vows to God with prostitution money.
Don't charge a fellow Israelite interest, but you can charge a foreigner interest. Because this was so long ago, we are all now related to the Israelites, therefore we are all Israelites, therefore my student loans should not have interest.
Make sure you keep your vows with God, whatever that means.
Last but not least, if you go into your neighbor's vineyard, you can eat all the grapes you want but you can't put them in your basket.
Bizarre chapter. What did we learn?
Dig a hole before you poop outside.
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